Things I love about living in Missouri

This is a very short list, but this is pretty close to the top. Right above this is housing cost. Right below this is tree colors in the spring and fall.

I've got bugs, I've got humidity, I've got rednecks, I'm fat, but my gas is less than $2.00!!!!

My dog kept sitting down like in the middle of walking from here to there. Just all of a sudden he'd sit down. Then he didn't move for a day, so I took him to the vet. I assumed he was having anal gland problems. So did the vet, until she took a look at his butt and said "This isn't what I was expecting." Then she squated down, got like 10 inches from his butt, squinted her eyes up and said "Have you seen this?"

Well, hell no I havn't seen that. I don't stick my face in my dog's ass.

To make a long story short, he had abig patch of dead flesh on his ass. It could have been a spider bite, a burn, or a chemical burn, or something else that killed the flesh. They had to operate and remove the dead flesh ($400+). That left a big open wound on his butt. Raw flesh. We went to visit him during his hospital stay and he was wearing the big white ice cream cone thing. He looked pretty pathetic.

So for the last two weeks Crystal has been putting hot compresses and creame on my dog's ass. One of us has to hold him, and one has to put the hot compress on his butt. For some reason, she always gets the business end of the dog. We're supposed to do it twice a day, but that is really not happening.

The other night, I wanted to check out the sore, to see if it was healing very well. I picked up his back legs - like when you picked up your friends legs and they walked on their hands doing the "wheelbarrow". I picked up his back legs, got my face down close to look. The sore had healed pretty well and the skin was starting to close up the wound. With my face about 8" from my dog's ass I said to Crystal "Wow, have you seen this, it looks good?"

Emergency Drinks

When we were on the airplane going to Portland, I was sitting next to Valerie. She looked up and saw all of the things above her head. She began to ask "whats that do?" "What's that for?" "Why is that there?"

This is the sign that the pilot turns on when he wants you to sit down and buckle up. Because its bumpy?

This sign says that you can't smoke. Because it stinks!

This button turns on the light. So you can read?

"Whats that do?" pointing to the button of a red stick figure holding a tray with a drink on it.

"This is the button you push if you want the flight attendant to come over."

"Oh, for when you need an emergency drink!"

Trying to get my family to the airport, through security, and onto an airplane: that's what we needed - Emergency Drinks!

The sauce for the baby lobsters

Labor day weekend was spent with my immediate and extended family in Columbia. My cousin got married and my little ladies were flower girls. My sister's kids (1girl, 2 boys) were also in the wedding as a flower firl, a flower girl escort, and a "Oh, hell no! I'm sitting right here next to Mom!" This is the third wedding in a little over a year that my girls have been flower girls (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Merkin is hitting 11, so I think this will be her last flower girl wedding. Including our wedding, she's flowered in 7 or 8 weddings. She's hitting the age where she is flowering in other ways (which I'm not doing well with at all).

Anyway, the reception was at my cousins house, which is in a beautiful wooded area, next to his fishing pond. As far as weddings go, it was very nice, but the reception was great. They did the rehersal dinner, the wedding reception, and a brunch the day after at his house. It was great for the kids to run around and play, and there were no neighbors to bother. They had a number of kegs and wine. They hired some babysitters to watch the kids, and some drivers to drive the drunks (two excellent ideas)

My now cousin-in-law (?) is originally from Louisanna, so the reception meal included crawdads.

I've had them before, prepared in a number of ways. The first time I had them, was in high school. We used tumbleweeds to fish them out of the pond next to the water tower in Crystal Hills. All we had was beer and pond water (which we had added to, after drinking too much beer), so we took the top off some cans, and dropped them, one at a time into the boiling beer. They were wonderful.

The next time I had them, we caught them in the same pond, but brought them to my house to cook at midnight. In addition to waking up my folks from the stench, they just didn't taste as good. Maybe it was the fact that they weren't boiled in beer. Maybe it was because I wasn't boiled in beer.

Since then I've had them a few times at fairs. They are called Ettufe or some french word. I havn't liked them.

At my cousins wedding, I had one plate and they were okay, but I was dissappointed because they didn't taste that good. Later in the evening, after sampling the variety of beers on tap, I had another plate. This time I took some of the sauce that was with them. They were much better dipped in the sauce.

Then I got a little sauce for myself, and later had another plate. This time they were GREAT even though I forgot the dipping sauce. As the evening progressed, I had more baby lobsters, and I must say that the more sauced I got, the better they tasted, sometimes with sauce, sometimes without, but always a little sauce for me. It must be the sauce that makes them taste so good!!!

I saw this picture for a lemon breast chicken that looked really good. I
thought I would share it with others who are forced into the kitchen
several times a week. Anyway, here it is: Ingredients 1 whole chicken
(weight is dependent on how many servings are required)

1 large lemon, cut into halves
sprig of rosemary
salt and pepper to taste
butter or olive oil, whichever you prefer
Heat oven to 350 degrees

Rub butter or oil over the skin of the chicken until it is completely
coated. Take a knife and gently separate the skin from the breast meat;
slide lemon halves under the skin with the peel side up. This way the
juice from the
lemon will coat the breast.
Season skin of chicken to your preference; place sprig of rosemary into
the chicken.
Cover and place in oven for 30-45 minutes. Remove cover and continue to
roast until juices run clear, basting every 15-20 minutes, depending on
size of the bird.

If you've followed these steps correctly, your chicken should look like
the one in the picture. Bon Appetit!









(yes, I know I'm in junior high, but I thought this was hysterical)