Tripple EWWWWWWW!!!!

So on our flight home Crystal was sitting with one of the kids and of course as soon as the plane starts down the runway, this kid has to go. Crystal tells her that they have to wait. Wait a few minutes.... Now she has to go bad. The seatbelt light is still on. I tell Crystal to hit the attendant button and ask the attendant if she can go. The attendant tells her that she can't give her permission to get up, but she should do what she has to do. Later Crystal is talking to her and she explains the "do what you have to do."

She was on a flight and it was a brand new plane. Like right off the assembly line. This 21 year old girl (God I'm getting old) has to go the bathroom, but the flight attendant tells her that she can't go. When the pilot finally turns off the seatbelt sign, the girl gets up to go. As she is walking down the aisle in her miniskirt and thong underwear, Montezuma gets its revenge all the way down the aisle of the plane. It was so bad they had to turn the plane around.

In a thong and mini skirt......

Double EWWWWWWW!!!!

So we were on vacation and I had the two older girls with me. We were walking the beach looking for good shells. Val had a gallon sized ziplock that she was putting the shells in. There were a few muscle shells that were hooked together so, to his credit, it was a wierd looking bag.

As we are walking up the beach, some guy is walking towards us, he's about 35-45. The two girls and I going one way, he is going the other. We get about 10 feet apart and he says "There's another one back there." as he uses his thumb to point over his shoulder.

"No shit," I think, "Its a beach, its covered with shells!"

But I'm not going to be rude, so I just say "What?"

"There's another one back there," this time he turns his body and points with his finger to some spot up the beach, "A dead bird."

As anyone would, now I wrinkle my nose, scrunch up my face, and say in the Are-you-an-idiot? voice - "What?!?!?"

"There's a dead bird up there. That's what she's picking up, isn't it - dead birds?"

Now comes my You-ARE-an-idiot voice "She's picking up shells!!"

"Oh, I thought she was picking up dead birds."

EWWWWW!!!!

So on our trip we stayed in a hotel room that was handicapped accessible. It had the shower that you could take off the wall and use as a wand to spray yourself. There was a white plastic bench in the bathroom that you could put in the shower to sit on. Merkin was in there and asked what it was for.

I explained that it was for handicapped people to sit on when they took a shower.

She got a severe look of utter disgust on her face and said
"You mean naked old people have sat on that?!?"

Our vacation

Please refer to the little ladies blog for vacation photos and anicdotes about:

The pacific
Lighthouses
Octopuses
Trees
Sand
Urine
Irritiable flight attendants

Hopefully she will soon post more about:

Crab sucker tubes
Thongs/miniskirts/gastrointestinal problems
Pickle Grass
Beach equipment provided by the hotel
Incredibally shrinking suitcases
Kitchenetts in hotel rooms
Mo's clam chowder
Children being too roudy at a baseball game
Bicycle/trolly signs
Penny smashing machines
Complimentary Touring books
Handicapped accessable hotel rooms


I'll be chiming in on her comments to correct her when she says something wrong