I'm a frickin' Jenious

I figured out some things:

1) how to put multiple photos in one post,
2) how to edit the old posts.
3) No one gives a shit about my trees (not that I care, cause I do)
4) Posting too many words is damn boring (again, not that I care)

Things that should be on the other side of the window.

So this is one of those things that you find on your side of the window that you wish was on the other side. I'm embarrased to say that this was on my side of the window. But it was in the basement garage near the door. We don't have these things running wild all over the house.

I found this when I had to go to the corner of the garage to get rags to clean up the quart of polyuerithane (pol-e-your-eh-thane) wood finish that I placed on the floor (because the lid wouldn't go on because I bent the can when I dropped it on the floor when I put a finish on my wooden mushroom) and knocked it over with the lawn mower that I remembered to bring in to the garage when I went to the basement to re-set the bearker that Xtal tripped when she tried to use light to see the food she was microwaveing as she cooled off with a fan.

I threw a penny next to it for reference. After I took the photos and put the fat piece of crap in the bag with the polly-you're-a-thain soaked rags I remembered that I read once that if you want to keep these out of your garden, you can put a strip of copper on the ground. Slugs won't go on copper because it burns them (or something).

Funny story: when we first moved to the state of Misery from Colorado we had not seen these things before. It was the summer that Pickle turned 2. She loved anything that moved and called it her pet. We were outside and I used a stick to pick a big-ol'-nasty slug up. I gave it to her and she said "Look daddy its my pet!" Then she started talking to it and telling it it was good pet. "Mommy! Come see!" she wanted to show her new pet to her mom. Xtal came out saw it on the stick and turned around. She came back out of the house and dumped a handful of salt on it (being new to the midwest we'd never done on a salty slug slaughter). Of course it started liquifying. "What's it doing Mommy?" Pickle said. "Dying!" Xtal said in a very excited tone.
Of course Pickle bursts into teers and starts throwing a tantrum - "YOU'RE KILLING MY PET! OH, MY PET! Why are you killing my pet!"
It was pretty funny watching Pickle realize that mommy was having fun killing her pet.

Okay, maybe not so funny if you weren't there.

They're here.....
If you go to the marina at Blue Springs Lake the first thing you notice as you're walking the gang plank are the huge fish swimming towards your shadow. They're giant nasty things with be sucker mouths. They look like baby birds in a nest.
You can go inside and pay $.50 for a ziplock sandwich bag full of Fishy Chow.

Mob
You can throw handfulls of food in and they mob the spot where you threw the food. They are very thick and you get the feeling you could walk on them. They're actually pretty gross.
Fish Flower
I've worked with this group for about four years. I've trained them to do a few simple synchronized maneuvers. Here they are performing The Fishy Flower. Still work to be done, but they're getting there!!

Gold Fish
I think this is a Koi. It rarely comes to the surface, so I havn't been able to see if its mouth is the same as the other fish. I'm pretty sure they are carp. Big, ugly, nasty carp.

Stuck in the air
Sometimes they get so thick, they push others up and out of the water. Then they flop around on top of the other fish until they can get to a break and go back down in the water.

Goose
Look at their size compared to a full grown Canadian Goose. They're huge. There are hundreds, if not thousands of them. When you throw a handful of food in one spot, they all rush to the bullseye. Then you throw another handful 10 feet away and they rush to the new spot. As nasty as they look in the huge pan-handling aggressive mob, they're a pretty impressive fish.
Always a great spot to bring the relatives when they come to town - "Ya'll wanna see a good time, how abouts we go throw some chow at the fish!" They think we're really refined.

Right outside my door

So with the intention of making my first entry based on my newly defined definitive definition of 'nature'. Because nature is now anything outside I would write about the first thing I saw. I would tell all who want to read about the nature that Joel knows. I opened the door and stepped on the stoop to view my first topic. On second thought, no one wants to read about my grill, a weathered croquet set with no wire hoops, or the dog crate that has been sitting on the porch since last october when Wishbone had to go to the vet.
Okay, I'll step off the stoop. Here is my subject - my trees! Now, I like my trees. One thing that thrills me about home ownership is trees. I like to know that these trees are mine. They have been around for decades, some longer than I have been alive. Some of the deceptivly smal trees could be very old. I would venture to say that most of my trees have been here since the house was built in the 50's. Mind you, I have only been at this house since '98. So these trees are probably twice as old as me, if not older.

The love of tree ownership is not one of materialism. It is not a feeling of greed. I don't love them because I like to have things or I like to feel important. The feelings I have for me trees is a feeling of responsibility. These trees have been entrusted to me. In the same way that God trusts you with money and children, I feel he has given me these trees to take care of. It is my responsibility to care for them. I have to pass them on to the next person that buys my home. Yes, you have to keep your house in good shape so the resale value is maintained. You must keep it painted. You must keep it in good repair. But trees are different. If you screw up your trees, the next homeowner can't just fix them, like they could repaint the bedroom or re-sod the lawn. If these trees get screwed up, it will take half a century to fix them.
There is some old saying (maybe native american, maybe swahelee) that says something like "The earth is not ours to pass on to future generations, we are borrowing it from future generations". Its kind of interesting when you get into that mindset with home ownership.
I never had this love of trees until I owned my own home.
Here's the sick part - I have two oaks, a maple, and I think one locust. If I had to remove one of my big trees, I'd be pretty excited to get the wood. I would love to either have it milled, or split it for turning (on a lathe). Its kind of like if you had a pet cow, but you'd be excited to get the beef if you had to get rid of it.


This is my lot. The lettered circles are my trees. This isn't to scale, but its not terribly off. The side street is a dead end about 3/8 of a mile down. On the west lot line, there used to be three sweetgum trees. We had to take them out because they were pushing up my neighbors concrete driveway. They were also a PITA. If you've never had to deal with picking up, disposing of, tripping over, mowing, blowing, rakeing, or burning gum balls, then I really suggest you don't cast judgement on me for removing these trees. I was not really glad to get rid of them, but I did hate them. I lost three beautiful shade trees.
My Lot

Trees A & B
This photo is looking NW at the front of my house. The small tree on the left is a Magnolia tree (tree A). It has pods that produce beautiful white flowers in late spring. The large tree is tree B. Again, you can see how the lower crown is almost all gone.

Tree B
This photo is standing in Bobs yard looking west. This one is a white oak. Again, this should be shaped like a tall dome. The lower limbs should sag to the ground. This tree was arguably destroyed by the ice storm. There are less then a handful of the large limbs left. The lower crown is totally gone. More than one neighbor told me they would have removed it. It is on the south side of the house, and although its less than 1/2 of its original breadth, it still provides significant shade in the summer. This one, also, has a number of danglers. Although I would love to have a trimmer come out, to clean all four of my big trees up, I just don't have the money for it.

I see!!

This is tree E. Its my girl tree. Its a maple. These two scars make me laugh because they look like a set of well, you know, um, eyes. Yea eyes, that's what I was thinking.
maple leaf
These are her leaves. She drops helecopters in the fall.
Maple scar
Tree E. This scar worries me. You can see through to the sap wood. Last fall I found a mud trail (from termites) inside, but I havn't seen anything since. The bark on this tree peels off like onion skin. I've always got to yell at the kids to stop peeling it.
This one only lost two major limbs in the ice storm (apx one 8" and one 10" diameter). I like this tree.

Trees F & G
Here is the back of my house looking South. On the far lower left are my raspberry bushes. The tree on the left is F and the one on the right is G.

G is a white oak. You can see how part of the crown on the top right is missing (from the ice storm of 2/02). And the whole right side of it is messy. These oaks are supposed to be a very nicely shapen tree - much like a very tall dome. This tree lost a number of large limbs from its top. It still has some 'danglers' large limbs that are dead or broken, but still hanging on up there.

I'm not sure what F is for sure. I think its a locust, but I'm not positive. I'd love to hear from you if you know. I posted a picture of its leaf up above so maybe you can look and tell me for sure.
Locust Leaf
This is tree F. I think this is a locust. Please let me know if you know for sure. The leaves are very fern-like. In the spring it drops some kind of seady/leafy crap. Its not sticky like sap, but its more like seeds.
Tree i
This is the first(as far as I can remember) tree that I have ever planted. This is an apple tree. I have no idea what variety. Let this be a lesson to you: alcohol and arboring never mix.
Trees K & H
These are both peach trees. I just planted H, I, K, and L in summer of '04. Surprisingly, these two produced about a dozen peaches in the same year that we put them in. This year there were about 1/2 dozen in early spring. They're gone now, before they were ripe, probably from one of the kids. The next house I buy, the first thing I'm doing is planting peach trees. If I had done that when we first moved in, we'd be having peach cobbler by now!
Tree L

This is one of the fruit trees I planted in summer of 04. I can't remember what it was. It was either a plum or a pear. It has doubled in size (at least) since I planted it. It is framed by Tree J.
Tree J is the big apple tree that needs trimmed in a big way. It produces great big red apples that are unbelievably delicious. We don't spray it, but I'd rather enjoy 1/2 of the apples, than eat agent orange. When I say we only get 1/2 the apples, I mean that each apple we pick usually has a worm hole in it. You just cut off that 1/2 of the apple and eat the other half. They are the best apples I've ever tasted. On the off chance you find an apple that doesn't have a worm hole or is misshapen because it was touching another apple when it grew, you will get a huge apple that tastes fantastic. In case I havn't been clear, I like these apples alot.